Robert & Roberta Adair

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It’s been a while since I’ve written. I want to write a little more regularly as it’s almost like a discipline that helps me finish sentences (some of the time). I’m so scatter-brained with my mind jumping from one thing to the next that trying to tell a story or share something that God is doing in my life takes, well, more effort for me than probably most people. So that’s that.

Good friends of ours in our mission had been thinking of moving out of the house where they currently live and move to another place when they come back from home assignment. Now they sense God inviting them to stay there. When I first heard about the possibility of them staying, my reaction was, “Well, didn’t they say that they thought it was good to move because of __, ___, and ___?”

Truth be told, I was jealous. I was jealous of their house that is more than twice the size of ours. I was jealous of their little yard and big kitchen and AC and proximity to a cool little bakery and super-cool park… I was jealous that they’ll come back to their home of almost 3 years whereas we’ll likely be coming back to new (house, neighbors, community, grocery store, jogging paths – not to mention new lifestyle with greater distance to church, train stations, etc.).

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We have a pretty great view of our city

While I wanted my response to be, “I’m so happy for you!” (and I was…), it was when I heard another friend’s genuine response of joy for them that I felt humble-punched in the gut. No jealousy – just pure excitement for her friend.

When I hear that someone’s family is expanding (again and again), I don’t want to focus on our waiting but on that person’s excitement and joy. When I hear that someone is doing really well with Japanese, I want to be proud of him or her – not jealous or making excuses as to why mine isn’t advancing as quickly (I’m ashamed to think of all the times I’ve said immature, whiney things about language stuff). When I hear that another church had yet another baptism and gets to be involved in seeing messy miraculous transformation, I want to be happy and rejoice and not be jealous of their joy. When I see beautiful Christian community happening somewhere else, I want to thank God and not grumble…

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I get to participate in this community

Something R said after our sadness a few years ago is that it’s a lot easier to mourn with those who mourn than to rejoice with those who rejoice. True that. Yet I want God to change my heart – not to ignore aching and longing and desires for good things – but to be able to celebrate with a pure heart with people.

I thank God for people around me who model this well – people who have experienced more waiting and pain and loss and confusion than I have yet who get downright giddy for others’ good news. Jesus, please keep convicting and teaching me, showing me your big, big grace, and changing my heart. Thank you for ways you’ve blessed and cared for me. Please help me to be grateful and celebrate your gifts to me and your gifts to others.

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I get to see this little dude discover the world around him

Originally posted on Adair Update...

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